think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
