well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
