So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
