Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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