I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
