It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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