Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
