My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
