I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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