Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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