Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
