I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
