carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
