Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
