This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
