I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
