you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize