her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
