dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
