This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
