Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
