so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just want nice things and good sex
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
