Life is so much better after having sex.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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