Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
