seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
