it wasn't lemon gatorade
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
