you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
