she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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