physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
