I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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