I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
