My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
