Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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