bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize