Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
