so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
