So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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