I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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