I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
