Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
