Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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