Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
