I puked a lego.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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