Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize