i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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