I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
