I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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