call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
