Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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