She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
