thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
