How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
