this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
