At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Quick, to the slutcave!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
