First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
