Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
