i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
