To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
