The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
